Snowpocalypse Now!

Snowpocalypse Now!

DATELINE: FEBRUARY 1, 2011


LOCATION: IOWA


TIME: 10:20 p.m. CST


Time to lay off the Blizzard Boozing, I think I'll still have to work tomorrow, which effing SUCKS.  I mean really, I'm not a brain surgeon, no one will die tomorrow if I'm not available to write ad copy or make a brochure for rug hooking equipment, or talk to hookers on the phone.  If UPS can't make it to your building, perhaps you shouldn't either.

Uh oh.

I had to pull the bottle of Cab from bottom.  
Wine is down to dangerously low levels.

In light of the impending wine disaster, I decided to send out for reinforcements. I picked my best retrieving resource.

WTF, George the Superpet?

You have failed me.

No Snausage for you!

I have to say that so far the snow here is a little disappointing.  When you've been sold on 18-20 inches all day, and you've only hit half that level, it feels like maybe the storm isn't trying hard enough.  Really, snow?  That's all you've got? 


Our piano teacher, the very one who gnaws on blocks of Sharp Cheddar during the kids' lessons, called tonight during the blizzard to tell me that lessons tomorrow night ARE still on, and that she's sure it will taper off at midnight and be FINE, so be sure to drive to HER HOUSE in the aftermath of the storm, there will be NO MAKE-UP LESSONS, and don't forget to bring your check tomorrow night to the lesson you WILL. NOT. MISS. *gulp*


Just went to tuck in The Son.  He is in his bunk with binoculars, and told me the people across the street watch a lot of South Park and Fox News.  I asked him to get this data in a spreadsheet, and I'd like reports on the other neighbors as well.  What else are you going to do in a blizzard?  Oh.  Right.  Make babies.  Um, put the binoculars down, Son.


Goodnight, Wifers.

Snowpocalypse Now!

Snowpocalypse Now!

DATELINE: FEBRUARY 1, 2011


LOCATION: IOWA

TIME: 8:31 p.m. CST

Old Man Winter has 8 inches. 

Oh yeah.  I went there.

The Snowpocalypse started around 3 p.m., and it's now 8:30, so it's been snowing for about 14 hours.  Oh, wait.  Five?  The newsroom tells me it's been just over five, but it feels like a week since I found out there isn't any chocolate in my house.  I've had to get my Survival Kit together:

My wine, my Blackberry, and my lucky pomegranate.

If I had some Flavor Flav fried chicken

and a brownie, I could handle anything.

Family members are turning on each other.  Wii Mario Kart is turning into a Hit and Run bloodbath. Current Husband can't find Iowa State basketball on TV, and he is muttering to himself at his computer and trying to find it online and he is hangin' with The River Baron:

Admitting you have an olive problem

is the first step to recovery.

Am trying to figure out a way to hack into work computer system to tell everyone they have the day off and a $100 bonus for not driving anywhere tomorrow.  In the interim, one creature in our house would like to go outside:

Poor George the Superpet. 

At least he still has his polar bear coat on.

Snowpocalypse Now

Snowpocalypse Now!

DATELINE: FEBRUARY 1, 2011

LOCATION:  IOWA
TIME:  6:57 p.m. CST

This is Julie the Wife, reporting to you from the Snowpocalypse.  Since this storm is so unique to me, and "I'm snowed in!" stories are so original.

The prairie is quiet right now.  Pa is waxing his violin (so THAT'S what they're calling it these days) and Ma is busy doing everything else to help us survive "Just in Case".  In the last 3 hours, we've had 54 inches of snow and one broken wineglass.  I've decided which child to eat if necessary - it's the 41 year old.

Swagga wagon, sans the swagga.

Now it's the SnowMobile.

We have no chocolate in the house, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to work tomorrow morning, because my company is apparently on a "If there is any chance you can make it in, we'll be expecting you" policy.  I'll check back later.  I hope you are all warm and well-stocked.