1. It hurt because I dropped an eight foot
banquet table on my foot. Any yes,
I took off my nail polish and my toes
are a little fugly. Don't judge me.
2. It hurt because I missed the cutest boy ever's
football game, and don't think he won't
remember this when he has to choose
between his mom and girlfriend for
who gets the hug after his team
wins the Orange Bowl.
3. It hurts because George the Superpet
already misses me during the day,
and now I'm disappearing on the weekends too,
and it's making him very needy, in that
he kisses me all the time when I am
actually around. Poor George.
More Snausage for George.
4. It hurts in that my already crazy dead
stuffed squirrel, Todd "Hot Nuts" Epstein,
is so freaked out by my absence that
he is now abusing pharmaceuticals.
5. It hurts because I am really tired and zonked out on Benadryl and Taco Bell, because who cooks after working all weekend, and now I am posting a slightly lame-ass blog. You deserve more, Gentle Readers! You should unionize! Talk amongst yourselves while I go to bed.
It's your last chance to sign up for the "Why Is She Even Bothering Bloggyversary Giveaway!" My Attorney will be present Wednesday night when I draw the winner and the runner up, and there may be other unexpected surprises. You need to comment to be entered. Have a great Monday, and I'll see you Wednesday!