Sunday, June 19, 2011

Get Me On Vh1,
I Had The Best Week Ever!

Okay, I'm just going to say it - I'm a terrible mother.  My kids were gone all week last week, with one at a cello camp in northern Iowa and the other two at grandparent for the ENTIRE WEEK, and I loved it.  Instead of using it as an opportunity to go through their diaries or throw out meaningful things they got from classmates three years ago or get rid of their favorite shirt that no longer fits, I used the time to practice my gluttony skills.  I ate my way through the Quad Cities regional gastronomic district.  Let's recap the road to my first bypass surgery:

If music could still play on this blog, it would be "The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand.  So much wine.  So much cheese.  So much delicious seasoning.  So much sleep.  It was terrific.

Then we picked up the kids and within an hour they were fighting and someone got hurt and someone had an upset stomach and someone forgot something at Grandma's house.  Goodbye, Kid Free Week.  But then we got settled in and everyone started laughing, and George the Superpet was happy again, and there was frolicking and donuts.  And there is nothing wrong with that.

I think Current Husband is sort of happy the week is over, because Mother Nature prevented him from a week of fornication.  Instead, he was subject to digestive disturbance due to my need for dessert and drinks. I also managed to get an entire dinner party to pound out the rhythm to "We Will Rock You" in a mockery of CH.  (Note to readers, do not take me to dinner parties.)

The kids were shocked when they came home because the house was not clean, and the sink full of dishes.  It's not so much that they house being a mess surprises them, but the kids are expected to do the dishes every day, with stern warnings about how dirty dishes draw ants and mold and syphillis.  The Son said, "Mom, you didn't do ANY dishes while we were gone?"  I just shrugged and said, "It wasn't my week."

Today we were back to business.  The house was cleaned, the dishes done, laundry started, and Home Depot visited for essentials. 

Bonus?  I once again have someone to hold
my purchases while I pull the van around.

In sum, I suppose the point here is to say that no matter how much sleep, fun, wine, and delicious food one might enjoy while their children are gone, nothing beats having small indentured servants to clean and mow and load five bags of mulch.

Okay, eating and drinking and ribaldry does indeed beat that, but I'm glad to have them back, partially because I gained about 30 pounds while they were gone, and the madness had to stop.  But oh, such delicious, saucy madness.

Happy Father's Day to CH and to my father, Grumpy, and to all the rockin' Dads out there.  Have a great week!


GrandeMocha said...

So jealous about the kid free week & all the awesome food & drink.

Grumpy is an awesome nickname for your dad. Ha!

Rhonda said...

I just got back from a vacation with just the small indentured servant and myself. I am needing a kid free week.

Anonymous said...

My dishwasher moved to college a year ago. A sad, sad day for me.

Logical Libby said...

Can I borrow your kids?

Craftwhack said...

Did I spy a photo that included cookies, ice cream and wine? You are totally my hero.

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