Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Off to a Hooker Convention

I'm off to a Hooker Convention in Milwaukee tomorrow, and I need to make sure I have cash for the cash box.  Because everyone needs cash at a Hooker Convention.  No kidding. 

So I'm looking around my house and I'm thinking

I don't know how people do this.

You might be asking yourself, "Self, what the hell is she talking about?"  And if you are asking yourself that, you can join the thousands of people who know me and ask themselves that every time I talk to them.

What I'm talking about is Being A Grown Up.  From the chair I'm sitting in right now, I'm looking at a pile of crap in my family room, all moved up from the basement because the waterproofers are coming next week and the basement has to be empty to jackhammer the floor and inevitably cause my walls to crack or a water main to break.  I'm looking at my dining room table, covered in school lunch boxes and paperwork, magazines I will probably not get to, and junk mail.  The living room has a bathrobe, a Von Maur bag, shoes, blankets, and Wii and xBox paraphenelia.  I can't see the kitchen from here, thank God.  But I know what lurks in there.

Besides all of the ridonkulous cleaning responsibilities I'm shirking, there is the driving.  I feel like lately all we do is spend our time driving.  Driving to school, driving to lessons, driving to work, driving to obligations.  Bleh.  I want to drive to a liquor store, then a book store, then a hammock store, then an ice store, and then a beach, in that order.  But who has the time?  Not I, said the Wife.

So I'm off to a Hooker Convention in Milwaukee tomorrow.  Current Husband has a schedule for the next two days telling him where he needs to be and when, starting at 3 p.m., because apparently no one else in the world has a job and that's when things are scheduled in the school system.  I am sharing a hotel room at the Hooker Convention (because NO ONE SLEEPS ALONE AT A HOOKER CONVENTION!) with someone who is sweet as pie, but doesn't drink or swear or probably poop, and so I won't ever really be off duty.  Or be able to poop.

I'm ready for a vacay, but Memorial Day weekend seems to be a looooong way away.  I'll report back from the Hooker Convention, and in the interim, here is something for your viewing pleasure.  Peace and Blessings! Have a great week!




3 comments:

GrandeMocha said...

Did you dye your hair with Kool-aide too? Have fun at your convention. Peace and Blessings!

ForeverRhonda said...

I hope you make sure that your breasteses are all pushed up. have fun at the hooker convention. I'm sure it will be a lot of fun.

Shiny said...

Mmmmmhhm. Mmmmmmhhm. That is it! That is IT!
Laughed my freakin' butt off!

Post a Comment

Let's talk. Tell me all about it.