Monday, September 5, 2011

Freezer Rules

An Open Letter to My Family:

It has come to my attention that we need a remider on Freezer Rules and Fridge Rules.  As the purchaser and main preparer of the food, I now declare myself the Mommy Tse Tung of all things in the refrigerator or freezer.

"Woe to the child who defies the rules of the fridge."

  1. If you open a Gatorade or juice box, it must be finished in one sitting.  There shall be no open containers of dyed drinks in the refrigerator, or one shall wear the consequences.
  2. If there are but three grapes left on the bunch, or three strawberries left in the box, the eater shall eat them and throw away the container.
  3. Do not leave a tablespoon of milk in the container so as to not have to be the one who rinses out the gallon.
  4. Prison rules apply to any ice cream treats left in the freezer.  If one has any leftovers from Dairy Queen, Whitey's, Coldstone, or Maggie Moos, consider it abandoned once it hits the freezer.  At that time, any homesteader may lay claim to the treat.
As I did tonight to your leftover Peanut Butter Galaxy from Maggie Moos, Youngest Daughter.  If Darwin were an ice cream barista, he would totally side with me that after two days in the freezer, this bad boy belongs to me.  And if you ask about your ice cream that you abandoned, I will inform you that I throw away ice cream after two days because it goes bad.  The fact that I throw it away in my stomach does not need to be revealed.

I think this clears up the World According to The Wife.  Please let me know if there are any questions or concerns.



Logical Libby said...

Does this go for husbands too?

GrandeMocha said...

"Prison rules" insert evil laugh here! You crack me up.

Rhonda said...

i love this...mind if i print out the rules and attach them to my fridge?

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