We are T-MINUS seven days and counting, and I am getting a grip.
Let me just say for the people who are rolling their eyes and saying, "What is she bitching about? She's going to Disney! You could have a cold sore or a bounced check or hammer toes, so SHUT. UP. already!" and I get that. You are correct. I could be a victim of hammer toe or some other podiatry nightmare. But here is the deal - I'm feeling intense pressure to make this THE BEST EFFING DISNEY TRIP EVAH! because it could very well be the only time we go. There are lots of places I'd like to go other than Disney, and the clock is ticking on Oldest Daughter leaving the nest (T-minus three years, six months on that one), so it's Make-It-Count time!
It's Disney, so it seems deceptively easy from the outside. But the more I read, the more complex I realize it is. Planning these trips is not for the weak. I know this is not news to many of you, but I naively thought last week, "Aw, we should do a Cinderella Royal Palace Lunch!" and then last night I read an article that gave specific instructions on how to make the phone call six months ahead of your desired date at 7 a.m. to Disney and to cut off the Cast Member who finally answers the call and say, "Julie the Wife, Party of 5, 8 a.m." The part that cracks me up is, "You have time to be polite AFTER your reservation is booked, but right now you are fighting every second with someone who wants YOUR time slot!" I'm waiting to see the guide that says,
"You NEED your FastPASS to the Toy Story ride, and that other kid's grandma has two kidneys and she can live on one, so you've GOT TO DO WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO DO!! CUT! THAT! BITCH!"
So I guess what I'm telling you is that there wasn't a snowcone's chance in hell that I was getting into the Cinderella Organized Mom Lunch, but I did manage to score the second-to-last reservation for the week at the Akershus Royal Banquet Hall dinner at 8 p.m., aka Second Rate Princess Dinner.
I also discovered that with my Disney Rewards Visa I get a private character Meet and Greet with photo, but I'm sort of expecting it to be either Chip or Dale or the dog from Up (which wouldn't be that bad) or Bashful.
This trip is like a game where I'm unlocking different levels the more I play. I actually got out of bed at 1 a.m. this morning to order a Belle dress on eBay that will be delivered on Friday so I can try to get into the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique and not have to go to the $200 costume level. I'm completely obsessed.
My name is Julie the Wife, and I'm going on my Virgin Trip to Disney. I'll report back tomorrow after 3 hours of sleep and four Red Bulls.