Saturday, February 11, 2012

T Minus 3 and Counting

First of all, thanks for your Estro-mail, it actually worked!  Who-hoo!


Tour Guide Mike just sent an e-mail to me, actually begging me to pack.  Which is funny, because I haven't started.  Let me give you the schedule from now until our flight leaves:

Saturday -
9 a.m. - Blogging when I should be packing.  Coffee tastes bad.  Pissed.
9:30 a.m. - Taking Oldest Daughter to mall for V Day boyfriend gift.  His mom nixed a hermit crab, so we're back to square one.  And really, what is her problem?  Why can't a teenage girl give her boyfriend crabs? 
10:00 a.m.  Stopping by Target to pick up my copy of vampire porn Breaking Dawn.
11:30 a.m. - Pick up younger kids from their sleepovers
12:00 - Take The Son to his basketball game.  Watch said game.  Embarrass myself and others.
2:00 - Practice finale dance for the elementary school Variety Show of which I'm in charge.  Note that I have no rhythym and cannot dance.
3:00 - Iowa State plays basketball and all other things cease.
6:00 - Friend coming over to watch vampire porn Breaking Dawn, because we took our teens to it in the theater and couldn't really get into it because our teenage daughters were watching Edward getting it on, and it was a little awkward.  Tonight it's all us, baby.
10:00ish - Friend possibly leaves, but now I've been drinking. 
TIME TO PACK!  Put underwear and socks and bathing suits in bag, take Aleve, go to bed.

Sunday
Noon - 4 p.m.  Rehearsals for the elementary school Variety Show
5:00 p.m.  OD's boyfriend coming over for dinner, actually cooking this time
7:00 p.m. - Leave dirty dishes on counter so I can pack.  Yell at people about dishes.
8:00 p.m.  Begin tucking kids in, they start telling me about makeup tests and things they will have to do tomorrow.  Help them cram for makeup tests.
10:00 p.m. - Make extensive To-Do list that I will promptly lose.

Monday
6:30 a.m.  Wake up, drive middle schoolers to school, go to work all day.
5:00 p.m.  Take kids to string lessons.
6:00 p.m.  Pedicure (this may not seem like a necessity, but trust me, it is)
7:00 p.m.  Take kids to piano lessons.
9:00 p.m.  Begin panicking and weeping about how unprepared I am for trip.  Stay up into the a.m. hours muttering to myself like a crazy person while everyone else sleeps soundly.

Tuesday
9:00 a.m.  Get dog issues settled
10:00 a.m. FREAK OUT COMPLETELY
11:00 a.m.  Leave for airport
1 p.m.  Begin apologies

This is likely EXACTLY how this is going to play out.  But admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, no?

Have a great weekend!  Come and pack for me!  Or better yet, come over to watch Breaking Dawn and eat guac and chips and margaritas.  I won't be packing anyway.


2 comments:

lori said...

Oh man, that's hilarious! Ummm, where do I get the vampire porn?

Rhonda said...

i'm jealous because i have not yet procured my vampire porn.

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