Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Shrek: The Midlife Crisis

Let me just say that if you haven't seen Shrek Forever After, I am going to spoil it for you.  It sucked.

I loved all of the previous Shrek movies.  They were funny and cute and had a nice little message.  Of course, the first one was the funniest one  with the best story, but the second and third ones were funny and I loved them all.  Shrek Forever After was like watching American Beauty in animation.  And I loved American Beauty, but not with Kevin Spacey as an ogre and Annette Bening as an ogre/princess.  Really, I thought Shrek was going to end up shot and bleeding on the floor at the end because he lusted after Snow White.

 See the similarities?

It was a "message movie".  Shrek is enjoying his life with his wife and three kids and going through the day to day, and suddenly it becomes drudgery and he ends up wishing for his life as an single ogre.  He meets Rumpelstiltskin and makes a deal to be an 'Ogre for a Day'.  His wish is granted, and he gets to spend the day yelling at people and taking baths and eating whatever he wants and being alone.  However, he suddenly realizes that he is alone, and he wants his family back, but TOO LATE buddy, it's all over.  Shrek is sad because he realizes he didn't appreciate what he had.  It was at this point in the movie that I leaned over to Current Husband and said, "Fairy tale!"

It was like they weren't even trying to be funny.  The storyline was weak, the jokes were weaker, and even the message was bad.  Don't get me wrong - I can totally get behind a sister who has struck out on her own and is embracing her inner feminist, as Fiona has done in the movie - but the whole thing was just lame and lamer.  The funniest part of the movie was the woman sitting behind us who laughed at EVERYTHING.  Puss in Boots making the big eyes?  BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  Donkey saying he's not a dog and then smelling something like a bloodhound?  BAHAHAHAHAHAA!  Shrek farts?  BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  After about the tenth time it stopped being annoying and actually became the funniest thing going on there.

The interesting part was that CH and I saw the same movie, but had completely different takes on it.
ME:  "I can't believe we saw Shrek the Midlife Crisis."
CH:  "What are you talking about?"
ME:  "You know, how Shrek got sick of his family and had to split."
CH:  "Uh, NO, he just wanted one day to himself, and he got tricked."
ME:  "Uh, NO, it was a metaphor for midlife crisis.  He might as well have bought a Camaro."
CH:  "Julie, all he wanted was a day to himself.  That's it.  He was tricked by Rumpelstiltskin.  He wasn't ditching his family."
ME:  "Bullshit."
CH:  "Whatever."

It made me wonder if all men would see it the same way.  And if so, they are wrong.  And men?  When you are out pricing your Camaro and suddenly lifting weights and trying to talk to the ladies, you are not wanting a day to yourself.  You are having a mid-life crisis. You're welcome, men.  Glad I could be of service to you.

Women have mid-life crises too, but we just have hot flashes and mental breakdowns and get divorces.  Sometimes homicides are involved.  But at least we admit that our behavior is not normal.  It would be interesting to see this in animation. I give you:
PocoHotFlash:  The Death of John Smith
The Little Mermaid Never Stops Crying
Sleeping Former Beauty

I will be waiting by my phone, Disney.


Lux Lady... said...

This post is nothing short of brilliant.

Clare said...

Thank you for saving me the large amounts of money it would have cost to take four kids to Shrek. You're always a giver, Julie, always a giver.

Leslie said...

Thanks for the input on Shrek. I think the convo with CH sums it all up. Brilliant. I'm looking forward to the Poco Hot Flash - The Death of John Smith. That one I WILL pay money for.

Phil said...

Fantastic review, you always provide valuable insight from an interesting perspective, and this time you nailed it! I might not go see this movie ... but I am on my way to the gym to lift some weights.

Wendy Ramer said...

I'm up for PocoHotFlash: The Death of John Smith. It would be a more appropos ending than the real demise of Pocohontas - the one Disney didn't have the courage to tell.

Jenj said...

The only part I laughed at was when Donkey asked Gingi "what you talkin' 'bout cracka?!" BWAHAHAHAH!

Miss Yvonne said...

"Sleeping Former Beauty" = Awesome

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

I rarely see sequels, let alone threequels.. I just wont. The level of suckage is upped with each one.

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