It's Resolution Month! Resolution #1

It's been a while since Neil Diamond Month and Laura Ingalls Wilder Month, and the blogosphere is going mad with Resolution Fever. As I am always one to blindly jump on the Trend Wagon (see Wolf Shirt), January will be all about my resolutions for 2010. I would love to hear about your resolutions...if any of you have the moxie to do it. (Did you hear that? THUMP. Oh yeah. That was me. Throwin' down.)

Webster's defines a resolution as the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure. New Year's resolutions are frequently the act of waking up hungover and bloated and deciding the show cannot go on status quo.

There are generally three camps in the world of New Year's Resolutions:

1. The people who make reasonable, attainable goals and achieve them. I look at these people much like I watch the British Parliament on the BBC or chess tournaments...they look smart, seem to know what they're doing, and they're fascinating, but I don't get it.
2. The Resolution Snobs who say, "I never make resolutions, I think they are stupid." These people KNOW they don't have their shit together, but instead of admitting they will fail, they just say, "I'm above it." Very crafty.
3. The people who earnestly make resolutions, truly believing they have a chance of really losing that weight or drinking and swearing less or getting organized, and by Valentine's Day they are drunk and weeping into a box of chocolates because they can't find the f*cking water bill.

I am firmly in Club Tres. But what the heck, it's the dawn of a new decade, right? Hope and Change are flowing with abandon, like so much red wine. Perhaps I, too, can be resolute and determined to achieve something this year. I do have a Wolf Shirt, which means I am capable of anything, and I have my trusty stuffed squirrel, whom I have named. See! One resolution accomplished!

RESOLUTION #1: Name my squirrel.

Say hello to my little friend...Todd "Hot Nuts" Epstein!

Thanks to everyone for their help. There were so many great names to choose from, but these components came together the best to represent all that is squirrelly about this crooked-dead-mounted rodent. He is Todd for Bill Murray's character on SNL who gave Gilda Radner's Lisa Lubner Noogies. He is "Hot Nuts" for my brother-in-law at Christmas (Long story.) And he is Epstein because I do have a Beatles theme for all of our pets (the exception being our Yellow Lab, Sugar, God rest her soul, who was named for the Grateful Dead song Sugar Magnolia), and the Beatle's manager and fifth Beatle was Brian Epstein.

Whew. Now that is done. I will celebrate by having an effing glass of wine and a chunk of pumpkin cake while I procrastinate on paying bills because I can't find them. One resolution accomplished, 27 days left in the month. I can already feel the power.