Tuesday, December 14, 2010

All Done With Christmas Shopping

OMG, I am totally done with Christmas shopping!!

I've managed to fill about 80% of the wish lists of each of my biological children (can't get everything in life, kids, I don't want to set you up with unrealistic expectations) and I'm done with Current Husband. (So. Done.) I've even purchased a couple of gifts for myself and told CH where to find them. I'm sure I will probably be wrapping my copy of the Grant Wood biography and slippers.

It feels great to be done early for a change. I felt so happy about it that I made cookies last night. The peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kisses in them and some butterscotch-chocolate chip cookies. The kids all had homemade cookies in their lunches today. It's like I'm June Effing Cleaver, and ....wait. School. TEACHERS. I haven't purchased my teacher gifts.

I am done with Christmas shopping
except for teacher gifts.

That's not so bad. I always make our teachers cinnamon rolls and get them a gift card. I can handle that. So there are the classroom teachers, and I like to get something for the secretaries and the maintenance guy because they are awesome. Crap. Those aren't our only teachers. I still need to get something for the piano teacher, the cello instructor, the dance teachers and the basketball coach.

I am done with Christmas shopping except for the teachers, piano teacher, cello teacher, dance instructors and basketball coach.

They can all get the same thing, right? That just sounds like it's a bunch of gift cards, it's not like it's my mother or any...SHIT! My MOM!  I haven't bought my parents anything, and they are driving 24 hours from Texas to see us on the 23rd and 24th.

I am done with Christmas shopping except for the teachers, piano teacher, cello teacher, dance instructors, basketball coach, and my parents.

Oh crap, CH has parents too! And there are four of them! (It takes a lot of people to come up with someone as spectacular as CH. Merry Christmas honey, you're stocking's been stuffed.) And then there are siblings! CH has a sister, half brother, half sister, and three step siblings, and I have a sister as well. OH HELL, my sister's birthday is on the 22nd, and she just had surgery, and I still haven't even sent her a Get Well card.  And there are the friends I do actual exchanges with, and the newspaper carrier and the mailman and the garbage guys, and I should really bring something in to my new co-workers whom I like so much...

OMG, I am totally behind on Christmas shopping.

I know Jesus is the reason for the season.  Do you hear what I hear, Jesus?  Props.  To you.  Now how's about you pull a little Christmas miracle for me?  Yes, again.  Just add it to my tab.  You know where I live. (Note to self - buy Subway gift card for Jesus.)


Toni said...

OMG you're living MY LIFE! and I laughed so much I nearly choked on my ham sandwich, just like Mama Cass. But with less caftans, and more Elmo pyjamas.

The Table of Promise said...

We no longer get gifts for the adults. I bake or make treats for the folks in my office. Screw the adults, what do they really need anyway? And furthermore, I don't want ANYTHING for Christmas, it is just going to get piled up in the corner because I have no where to put all that junk. Wine, Starbucks cards and cash are the only items I will accept this year.

By the way--TJ Maxx has such a huge amount of stuff. One stop there and you can get all the $5 gifts you need. Jeez I swear you will be shocked by the sheer amount of crap in those stores. But you can check everyone off the list.

Merry Christmas!!

GrandeMocha said...

My husband will go to Panera & get gift cards for all the teachers. One stop shoping! Kind of like baking but not.

I missed Whoreculture Friday.

Carolyn said...

When I started reading this post I was feeling guilty for being so far behind with my shopping - and when you mentioned making peanut butter cookies, well it just seemed like bragging... thank goodness you're human like the rest of us!

Allers Family said...

Teachers want your famous cinnamon rolls! I know I don't qualify this year, but I'll be counting on them in a few years... no pressure:)

MultipleMum said...

We have all been here! I am done with Christmas shopping except... I haven't even started! Argh!!!

Shiny said...

HAHA!! Right there with ya, Friend. When I first read your title I was gonna tell ya to shutyerpiehole...but thank you for reassuring me I am not the only one who cannot believe that Christmas is NEXT WEEK and CRAP! Last day of pre-k before break is Friday and I have NADa!! Wonder if B's teachers like PopTarts and...Uno cards? I suck.

SueWags said...

That was so funny, I was laughing out loud, chortling louder with each line. The Subway card for Jesus? I snorted.

I need to hook you up with my wine glass lady. I met her on eBay about 5 years ago and now just buy directly from her. I buy about 6 cases and give them out in twosies like Noah. Teachers (so, so many of those), sisters, parents, neighbors, babysitters, aunts...you know...Jesus would be totally into the wine glass because of the water into wine thing.


I do the same in the spring. Teachers (and could they stop changing classrooms in Elementary school? Holy cow all the teachers!) and going away/welcome gifts (military wife....somebody is always moving). I've also been known to give out just one from my stash and I call it the "BFF/virtual happy hour glass." Seriously, e-mail Laura, buy many, MANY cases of wine glasses and this will never happen to you again. Tell her I sent you! (This year she did a custom design for me of a Torii with lights. Okay, I'll stop writing.)

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