A Gift To Yourself

Hello Wifers!  Brace yourselves, I'm about to get all philosophical on your asses.

I hope you all had a terrific weekend!  Mine was fan-effing-tastic.  It was one of those weekends when nothing is scheduled but everything comes together almost perfectly, except that I didn't end the weekend 10 pounds thinner or 10 years younger.  But otherwise? Perfect. 

Lots of sleeping in, Eclipse DVD viewing night with another family in our jammies, margaritas, donuts may have been involved, Christmas shopping nearly finished (those of you who know me in real life know this is almost unheard of), kids were whisked away by another family who took them sledding for the afternoon, marital relations may or may not have happened, a good friend was in touch whom I haven't heard from in a while, and I talked to my mom.  It's one of those weekends that makes you step outside of your day-to-day routine and say,

"How can I make the rest of my life feel like this?"

I am very blessed. This I know for sure.  Just by virtue of where and to whom I was born, over which I had no control, I'm luckier than 90% of the people on the planet.  I have my share of stresses, but I've never known true poverty, hunger, homelessness, or serious abuse.  Sometimes, when I let myself get weighted down by the small stuff, it can be hard to regain perspective on how good my life really is.  Lately, there have been a couple of small things that have been troubling me.  One of them, if I think about it too long, will bring me to tears, even this moment.  But this weekend was one of those times when you take an assessment of what is giving true value in your life.  Appropriately, this a-ha moment was actually brought home to me in a quote by a hooker.

As I've mentioned before, I work with hookers, and will be taking lessons soon to be a world class hooker.  Rug hooker, that is.  And these old hookers are very profound.  They tend to be women in their 50's and 60's who have experienced life and raised their children and survived jobs and marriages and divorces and friendships and families, and they are a wealth of information.  I spend my days at work talking with these old hookers on the phone, reading their blogs and websites and e-mailing with them, and I've noticed many of them are rife with philosophical sayings.  Here are a few gems:

"If you love something, let it go free.  If it returns to you, it was meant to be yours.  If it doesn't, hunt it down and beat it with a shovel."

"It's better to have loved and lost than to have wasted your life on the bastard."

"Old hookers never die, they just eventually lose their wool."

Seriously, these women are pretty funny.  And bawdy, which is a great mix for me.  Some of the sayings are profound.  There is a product on the hooking market that is basically a duplicate of the product I market, but cheaper.  We're not worried about it at work, but we are keeping an eye on it.  The hookers know this, and one sent me a lovely e-mail that ended with this:

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Wow.  Think about that, truly.  It can apply to anything.  Have you ever loved how a room in your house looks, and then you go to a spectacular room in someone else's house and say, "Well, Damn."  How many times have you been ready to go out, and you are thinking you look like ALL THAT, and then you see someone else and suddenly think you are Less Than?  Just be who you are, and love thyself.  Or, as Drew Barrymore has said, "Let your freak flag fly."  Hold on to that joy, and keep it, like ET in the closet.  (Except that ET would have died if he stayed in the closet, so I guess I am saying "Come out of the closet!")

((WAIT, that is a whole other blog, only come out of the closet when you are good and ready, don't let me push you out of the closet.  But I fully support you either way.))

Where was I? 

One quote I loved this summer that didn't come from a hooker, but instead from the movie "Eat, Pray, Love," is the phrase "The ruin is the gift."  I really loved that, because I've always thought that if something bad happens to me (or something that I perceive as bad), there is always something to be learned from it.  Even when I was at The Full Time Job I Couldn't Blog About, and was really miserable, I took so much away from that experience.  I met terrific people at that job, and found out what I didn't want in a career.  It made me appreciate the fact that I could have another opportunity, and it also made me appreciate the time I spent at home with the kids and realize not one minute of it was time wasted.  And?  More than anyone, Current Husband totally came through in the crunch and I realized he had my back. That was a gift.

At the beginning of last week, I was feeling particularly down about one little thing when I got a nice e-mail from a hooker, and her saying at the bottom hit me like a lightening bolt.  It was:

"Never make someone a priority
who only treats you as an option."

Whoa.  It even makes my heart skip a beat right now.  What a little piece of serendipity.  It was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment, and it was so freeing.  It isn't about EVERYONE treating you as a priority - that would be a tad egotistical, no?  This is about the Golden Rule, really.  Treat other people as you want to be treated.  So this holiday season, take a look at yourself and your relationships.  Value yourself.  Give yourself the gift of respect.  Have a Stuart Smalley moment.  Go on.  It might feel nice.

"You're good enough,

you're smart enough,

and dog gone it, people like you."

Happy Monday, and have a great week, Wifers!  I LIKE YOU!