How to Party Like a Dead Squirrel

Tuesday was a cold, miserable night in the Quad Cities, but inside of Azteca on Cumberland Square, hearts and paws were warmed by a slew of cheese, margaritas, and squirrel sisterhood.

Families were trying to enjoy their meals, when suddenly, THIS appeared on the table in their midst:

A taxidermied squirrel in a sombrero,

and the women who love him.

Con Queso and guacamole and a couple of pitchers of margaritas appeared, and soon eight women were seated around their taxidermied friend.  Todd's very own Crazy Eight of fans had appeared.  Let the margaritas be poured.

This photo was taken to a chorus of "Check please"

from the surrounding tables.

Sadly, we were two moustaches short, but there were enough trophies and door prizes to go around.  The distance award went to Angie P., white sweater, who drove from Chicago ONLY to attend Todd's party. And see her mom (wearing the finger moustache). And take care of some other important errands.  But I'm sure Todd was the real reason.  Angie is a first-time squirrel partier, longtime squirrel fan.

Me, Angie, Harolyn, Debbie and Todd. 

Harolyn is blinded by the glare from Todd's fabulousness.

Most of these Todd fans did hadn't met, but wait until you hear the spooky Kevin Bacon degrees of seperation.  Ready?  Angie (white sweater) is a friend of mine from college who grew up in the Quad Cities, and her mom Harolyn (finger moustache) still lives here. Harolyn attended Julie M's (pink sweater) wedding way back. Julie M (pink sweater) and Peggy G's (striped sweater) kids both attended the same school, Peggy G's husband works at the same company as Lani (head in sunflowers) whose husband is friends with Jessica (black sweater) who happens to know Angie's cousin Tammy in a different town who also Harolyn's neice, and Harolyn brought her longtime friend Debbie (brown sweater) who is a Todd follower, for whose daughter I wrote a humorous poem for her rehearsal dinner about 12 years ago but never met, and who also lives on the same road at Peggy.  Got it?

Whatever, Julie, keep talking, that's more margaritas for us!

Inevitably, talk turned to laser procedures and waxing.

Peggy's moustache became afraid and tried to run away.

Lani's took off at "laser procedure".

Things were going swimmingly, and then Todd had a little too much to drink and started stripping.  We all tried to stop him, because friends don't let squirrels strip naked, but apparently Todd's nuts are hotter than any of us thought, because he ended up paying the tab with his earnings.

I believe the $20 was left by a guy with an Internet Squirrel Porn fetish.

And now you have the rest of the story.  Perhaps Todd will have parties in other towns this year...Chicago?  Omaha?  Minneapolis?  St. Louis?  Denver?  He is not a Flying Squirrel, so it will be limited to the Midwest, but we'll see where his nuts lead him over the summer.  Thanks to the fabulous Crazy Eight for a terrific night!  The margaritas were muy delicioso, but the company was terrific.  Un Saludo, Crazy Eight.  Muchos gracias!