I've Eaten and I Can't Get Up

Sweet Baby Jesus.


Since December 22, I have only worked three days.  The last 12 days have been some of the best I can remember in a long while, and most of that has to do with food.  I mean family.  Yes, family.  Family and mealtimes.  And Jesus.  Because he is the reason for the seasoning.


On the first day of Christmas, my winerack gave to me
A wineglass of cold chablis.

On the second day of Christmsas, my kitchen gave to me
A pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

Thank you, Italy.

On the third day of Christmas, Starbucks gave to me
Three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

Am loving the polka dot mug.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my microwave gave to me
Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

Bless you, inventor of microwave bacon.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my minivan gave to me
Five donut rings....Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

Seriously, once you've had Donuts & More,

you'll never go back.  I can't.  I won't.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my oven gave to me

Six kisses cookies baking, five donut rings! Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

  

Which I had to check to make sure they weren't poisonous.

That's just good parenting, people.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my fridge gave to me
Seven ice cubes swimming (in Kaluha), six kisses cookies, five donut rings!  Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

The dessert drink of champions.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my bathroom gave to me

Magnesia-a-Milking, seven ice cubes swimming (in Kaluha), six kisses cookies, five donut rings! Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

Oh Dear Lord.  I am SO sorry about the gluttony. 

Really, I am.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my living room gave to me
Nine hours of dancing, Magnesia-a-Milking, seven ice cubes swimming (in Kaluha), six kisses cookies, five donut rings! Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

If you get the children Just Dance 2,

be prepared to get your Outkast on.

Having no rhythm is not an acceptable excuse.

 On the tenth day of Christmas, my dining room gave to me

1000-piece puzzlers puzzling, nine hours of dancing, Magnesia-a-Milking, seven ice cubes swimming (in Kaluha), six kisses cookies, five donut rings! Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

What Dementors or gangsta rappers do over the holidays.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my bedroom gave to me
Eleven hours of sleeping, 1000-piece puzzlers puzzling, nine hours of dancing, Magnesia-a-Milking, seven ice cubes swimming (in Kaluha), six kisses cookies, five donut rings! Four strips of bacon, three french vanilla lattes, pan of lasagne and a wineglass of cold chablis.

If I had this bed, I would sleep 12 hours next time.

(Thank you for the image, Sunnyspot.)



On the twelfth day of Christmas, my closet gave to me -

The bad news that I am going back to a size 12 because I ate my way through the end of 2010.  Tonight I made steak and potatoes and asparagus for dinner, and tomorrow it's back on the Medifast until I can put my skinny jeans back on.  But it was such a delicious holiday, and honestly, I wouldn't change a thing about it.  Not one cookie would go back on the plate, no Blue Moons back in the fridge, no Thai Basil Noodles (or the homemade Spicy Thai Noodles!) left uneaten.  So before I go back on the soy wagon tomorrow?

One more wineglass of cold chablis.

Happy New Year!