Sunday, August 1, 2010

Workin' Hard for the Money

Hello, Gentle Readers.  The Wife has news.  I am going back into the rank and file of full-time employment tomorrow.  This means I will have to go back to regular showering, bedtimes before the a.m. hours, and regulation of swearing.  Holy crap, what have I done?

It's been eight years since I was actually employed by a company as a regular (or irregular, depending upon whom you ask) employee.  Here it is, the Progression of Julie's Career:

  1. After college, I did marketing for a mall, which is the job I had when I married CH.  They loved getting my wedding gifts shipped to the mall office.  
  2. Then I was a community events coordinator for a bank, where I had to nurse Oldest Daughter in the safe deposit box rooms during events.  
  3. After that, I was a public relations manager for a children's home, where I spent one long hour of a hot air balloon festival trapped in an RV pumping breast milk while a coked-up dachshund dragged his nails down my legs.   
  4. Then I was a columnist and writer for a terrific local newspaper (support your local newspapers!), where I had my kids play on the floor with computer parts while I trapped mice in the garbage can.
  5. I decided to open my own retail store in a small town in Iowa, which was the best job EVER, despite the long hours, but unfortunately our society currently doesn't support local businesses and Target consistently ate shops like mine for breakfast.  My little shop actually did pretty well, but I sold it when CH got a job an hour away and we had to move.  Sniff.  I miss my store, and my customers rocked.  Best time ever, so much fun.
  6. We moved to our current town, and I stayed home with the kidlets and did freelance writing.  Being home with the kiddies has been fun too, and don't doubt for a second that it's a lot of work, but now they are between the ages of 7 and 13, and it's time for Momma to get back on her professional game.  I still plan to do freelance writing because it's fun and I have some great clients, but I'm at an age where words like "Benefits" and "Regular Compensation" sound really sexy.
So I started looking around for a job.  I didn't want any job, I really wanted something I was going to enjoy, and I was very lucky to find something very close to my house, very flexible, and fun.  (Well, as fun as going in to work 40 hours a week can be after hanging out at home surfing the Internet braless drinking coffee and watching Sassy Gay Friend on Second City Network.)  Actually, I'm a little bit excited about it.  Now it's OKAY that I'm bi-polar!
The Wife, at home:
"Whoo-hooo!  I love my dog and PCP!  Kick ass!"

(PCP actually stands for Portland Cello Project, I swear.  
This group is uber-talented, so catch them if you can.  
Get your t-shirts in the SHOP section of their tres cool website HERE!)

Julie, at work:
"...and that is why we would like you to consider a 
$100K donation to our fine educational program."

Assuming my co-workers won't constantly interrupt me to ask for snacks or to see if they can play Club Penguin on my computer, the workplace will actually be a lovely grown-up place where people talk about current events and drink coffee and focus on whole sentences.  I will wear shoes that aren't flippy floppies.  I will be mature.  (Oh, let's not push it.)

What does this mean for the blog, you ask?  Nothing.  Because I can't write about work, and I can't stop exposing my family to ridicule for free in pursuit of my writing dreams, so I'll still be here, two to three times a week, boring my mother and the two other readers with too much information about my people.

So tomorrow - what do you think?  Leather pants and SpongeBob pasties, or the Fuck Tha Police vinyl wrap dress?  Yeah, that's what I thought too.  Happy Monday, have a great week!


Jennifer Murray said...

How exciting for you! And I'd definitely go with the dress :)

Mrs Woog said...

I think you should wear the bunny ears as featured on my post, with some denim hotpants. And good luck and make sure you keep blogging! xo

Boonsong said...

Work.... I remember it well. You have my sympathy.
I'm pleased that you'll carry on blogging.
I wish you well with your new job.

All the best, Boonsong

Jody said...

Have fun! You look great all gussied up for work and flip flops in the summer at the office are a norm for the ladies, so I didn't have to totally give up that creature comfort when I went back to work).

Tricia said...

have a great first day!

Shiny said...

Adult conversation?....what is the "adult conversation"-thing you speak of? Don't go getting mature on us now--we love you as is!! :) Best wishes and blessings on the new transition--I'm sure it will all make for great new stories! Keep us posted!

CoffeeJitters (Judy Haley) said...

congratulations! I'd go with the spongebob pasties

The Barreness said...

Vinyl wrap dress all the way.

Then again, *occasionally* this is my actual work uniform, so maybe that was just the convenient answer for me.

You know what? Nevermind.

The Insatiable Host said...

Oh hunny I am so proud of you!!! Please use my 5 tips to faking it like a real adult below. This will surly land some attention.

1. when someone is talking to you, even though you know you dont care, intently focus on their ear and stare meaningful and say "mmhmm" with conviction
2. never wear your kids clothes to work. sadly, I went through a bag of clothes So doesn't fit into yet, and picked a super cute shirt (that fit) and wore it to work...sadly I forgot that my boss's daughter gave them to me...and she remembered the shirt)
3. make sure you always have some sort of current news in your head to talk about (work adults love to talk). it's hard being taken as a real adult when your fav. 5 subjects are poop, kids, hubby, TiVo and your iphone aps
4. the dryer is your friend, not a dry cleaner..unfortunately some things need to be ironed...this is a hard reality to face.
5. when you get out of bed and look in the mirror and are having one of those questionable days where you are like "should I wash my hair/or not?" always go with "do it". There is a "something about mary" story that I could tell you but then I would always be that girl.

oxoxoxoxoxo so happy for you!!!


Maxabella said...

We are joined in Woogsy matrimony, so I just had to pop over and see what all the fuss was about. And, of course, I absolutely LOVE YOU. Good luck tomorrow. Remember to wear pants.

Annah said...

Ahhh :) Your dog is too cute! :) Good luck on the job's first day. I'm in the process of trying to look for work and its the pits.

GrandeMocha said...

Congrats on the job! Enjoy your time away from every one at home. I'm wearing flip flops at work today & I did it yesterday too.

Anita said...

Hey Congrats Julie. And in a strange twist of fate, I go back to school in 2 weeks - THAT will be an adjustment here. Because I have to LEAVE the house at 7:15 AM to be ther eby 8 AM in my classroom. YOWSA. Cause we know I am such an early riser....Congrats on your sexy paycheck....

Maubrey said...

thanks for putting my blog on yours...visit the blog when u r free and drop comments as per ur wish and even u dont like ...drop comments..

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

I don't necessarily want to work.. but I still want the paycheck.

SueWags said...

Congratulations on the job, Julie! How is it going? The part about being interrupted so they can play Club Penguin....oh how I know that!

Good luck! xo

ForeverRhonda said...

That's me Midwestern Mama Holly! I don't actually want to work...I just kinda want to get paid.

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