Workin' Hard for the Money

Hello, Gentle Readers.  The Wife has news.  I am going back into the rank and file of full-time employment tomorrow.  This means I will have to go back to regular showering, bedtimes before the a.m. hours, and regulation of swearing.  Holy crap, what have I done?

It's been eight years since I was actually employed by a company as a regular (or irregular, depending upon whom you ask) employee.  Here it is, the Progression of Julie's Career:

1. After college, I did marketing for a mall, which is the job I had when I married CH.  They loved getting my wedding gifts shipped to the mall office.  
2. Then I was a community events coordinator for a bank, where I had to nurse Oldest Daughter in the safe deposit box rooms during events.  
3. After that, I was a public relations manager for a children's home, where I spent one long hour of a hot air balloon festival trapped in an RV pumping breast milk while a coked-up dachshund dragged his nails down my legs.   
4. Then I was a columnist and writer for a terrific local newspaper (support your local newspapers!), where I had my kids play on the floor with computer parts while I trapped mice in the garbage can.
5. I decided to open my own retail store in a small town in Iowa, which was the best job EVER, despite the long hours, but unfortunately our society currently doesn't support local businesses and Target consistently ate shops like mine for breakfast.  My little shop actually did pretty well, but I sold it when CH got a job an hour away and we had to move.  Sniff.  I miss my store, and my customers rocked.  Best time ever, so much fun.
6. We moved to our current town, and I stayed home with the kidlets and did freelance writing.  Being home with the kiddies has been fun too, and don't doubt for a second that it's a lot of work, but now they are between the ages of 7 and 13, and it's time for Momma to get back on her professional game.  I still plan to do freelance writing because it's fun and I have some great clients, but I'm at an age where words like "Benefits" and "Regular Compensation" sound really sexy.

So I started looking around for a job.  I didn't want any job, I really wanted something I was going to enjoy, and I was very lucky to find something very close to my house, very flexible, and fun.  (Well, as fun as going in to work 40 hours a week can be after hanging out at home surfing the Internet braless drinking coffee and watching Sassy Gay Friend on Second City Network.)  Actually, I'm a little bit excited about it.  Now it's OKAY that I'm bi-polar!

The Wife, at home:

"Whoo-hooo!  I love my dog and PCP!  Kick ass!"

(PCP actually stands for Portland Cello Project, I swear.  

This group is uber-talented, so catch them if you can.  

Get your t-shirts in the SHOP section of their tres cool website HERE!)

Julie, at work:

"...and that is why we would like you to consider a 

$100K donation to our fine educational program."

Assuming my co-workers won't constantly interrupt me to ask for snacks or to see if they can play Club Penguin on my computer, the workplace will actually be a lovely grown-up place where people talk about current events and drink coffee and focus on whole sentences.  I will wear shoes that aren't flippy floppies.  I will be mature.  (Oh, let's not push it.)

What does this mean for the blog, you ask?  Nothing.  Because I can't write about work, and I can't stop exposing my family to ridicule for free in pursuit of my writing dreams, so I'll still be here, two to three times a week, boring my mother and the two other readers with too much information about my people.

So tomorrow - what do you think?  Leather pants and SpongeBob pasties, or the Fuck Tha Police vinyl wrap dress?  Yeah, that's what I thought too.  Happy Monday, have a great week!