Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Seminars I'd Like to Attend

NOTE:  I spent 45 minutes writing this post, hit Publish, and an error message came up and said, "Sorry!" and it was gone.  So now I'm re-writing what I can remember from it, but just understand that the first one was probably brilliant and would've led to a book deal.  This one?  Meh.

A couple of years ago, I was fortunate enough to attend the Erma Bombeck Writing Workshop.  It was pretty awesome.  I met Christian Lander of "Stuff White People Like" fame, Danny Gallagher the comedian and writer, Gail Collins of the New York Times and author of the amazing book, "When Everything Changed", and some pretty kick-ass chicks as well, including Janet Frongillo, author of the upcoming book, "Mommy Mixology", available for pre-order on amazon.com.

Seriously, "A Cocktail for every Calamity"?  That's just brilliant.

EBWW is only held every two years, and sadly, I can't go this year because I now have a full-time job that seriously impedes me from doing fun things.  I know Janet will be there, and so will The Bearded Iris, who is completely hilarious and has some mad effing dance skills.  On April 19, which is my birthday, I will be sitting down to watch my lovely daughter on opening night of her high school musical, knowing in my heart that Iris and Janet and loads of awesome mom bloggers will be tucking into their first round of drinks.  Of course, I wouldn't be anywhere else but the musical with Oldest Daughter.  But a tiny little part of my heart will be sad.

(I also spent about 20 minutes on picnik making an awesome graphic with a human heart showing how much of it would be sad and thirsty, but that wouldn't load.  Pisser!)

Since I can't attend EBWW, I am concentrating on what types of educational enrichment opportunities I should find for myself.  After ten minutes of introspection, I've come up with this list of Self-Help Seminars I Should Attend In 2012:

  1. Past the Power Button:  How To Use Your Computer
  2. Beyond the Basket:  Getting Family to Fold Within 48 Hours of the Dryer
  3. Vegetarian Cooking, Or How To Make Food Look Like It
  4. Vaccum Cleaner Shopping:  Not An Annual Activity
  5. Sheets, And How They're Changed More Than Six Times A Year
  6. When The Dog Knows Too Much
  7. High Noon:  After Five Years, It's Time to Move On From Twilight
  8. How To Operate Your Husband of 17 years
  9. Making Your Malbec Bottle Last Three Days So You Don't Look Like An Alcoholic
  10. Getting More Personal Time Out of Work Time
  11. Speaking Teen...Whatever.
If anyone knows where I can sign up for any of these workshops, I would appreciate the link.  If you have any of your own, please add in comments (Such as:  How To Get Blogger To Post Your Damn Comments).  Otherwise, I'll hold these in my house and wing it.  Registration begins June 1. 


Peruby said...

Blogger is being a pain in the ass. Number 4 - it is the American way. Annual shopping for coffee maker, too. Shit only lasts a year.

pegzhere said...

How about "Making a Copy of Your Blog Post Before Publishing: Don't Lose Another Book Deal" Would that be a useful one?

Julie, The Wife said...

Seriously, @peruby, I have to switch to Wordpress. It's getting ridonkulous. Seminar: "Quit Threatening to Switch to WordPress and Do It In Three Easy Steps."

Julie, The Wife said...

@pegzhere Amen, sister. How about "Logic Is Your Friend, Don't Be A Loser"?

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