Monday, March 15, 2010

One is the Loneliest Lego Number

"You smell that?  That's the smell of Spring, and I love it."

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge that Spring is finally upon us, and celebrate its arrival with one of my favorite Kids in the Hall bits (you only need to watch the first 40 seconds):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsKcxdtuZE0 

And who doesn't like to bury the people they've killed over the winter?  Tis the season, indeed.

Spring break started at our school last Thursday at 3:10 p.m., and we've made it through the first three days without Mommy hitting the sauce or the pharmaceuticals.  Scratch that, I did hit the sauce on Friday night, but that was Social Sauce, not Coping Sauce.  Big difference.  I'd like to take a moment to introduce a new service to A Day In The Wife readers, called:

THE WIFE'S 'WINE OF THE WEEK'
Galena Priorat
"Galena is a dream of a winery with its own vineyards, producing very individual wines.  It is located in the Priorato, around the village or El Molar.  Galena is sophisticated and elegant.  Make with the varieties of Red Garnacha, Carignan, Merlot, and Cabernet Sauvignon, it is an aged wine, dark red in color which has been kept for 12 months in French and American oak barrels."
It is delicious, and can be consumed with friends, or crouched down beside the washing machine from a Chuck E Cheese cup.  I recommend friends, but do what you have to do.

The weekend went relatively well, and I sat down around 7 p.m. to write the blog.  Some friends who are moving (DAMN THEM!  And like moving out of state will stop us from coming over.  They underestimate our tenacity.) left four large tubs of Legos in our care while they show their house.  Youngest Daughter (YD) has dug into Legoland in a big way, but she decided rather quickly that again, it is more fun to be Jim Jones and tell everyone what to do.  One is, indeed, the loneliest number.  Naturally, one should go out and summon up some minions to entertain you.

Current Husband (CH) played Legos from about noon until 1 p.m.  Middle Son (MS) played Legos from around 2 p.m. until 4 p.m.  Oldest Daughter (OD) was corralled into playing Legos from 6 p.m. until 7 p.m., and then people started saying Uncle. 

7:10 p.m.
YD:  "Mom, will you play Legos with me?"
ME:  "No honey, I'm working."
YD:  "No you're not, you're staring at your computer."
ME:  "No, I'm working, so you'll need to play on your own."
YD:  "So that's your job?"
ME:  "Not really.  It's the blog, but it's part of my writing."
YD:  "So it's not really your job?"
ME:  "Well, not really, I don't get paid for it, I just like it."
YD:  "Well if you aren't working, then WHY WON'T YOU PLAY LEGOS WITH ME?!"

 Let me remind you...angry YD...panic-stricken family...


ME:  "I will play Legos with you tomorrow."
YD:  "Fine."


I can hear her playing with them.  She is pushing a police van and saying there are criminals in the back, but she will let them go because they are her friends.  She says the guy who owns the pizza parlor she built is selling pizzas for $90 each, any toppings, but that he is getting too rich ripping people off on the pizzas, so she will arrest him.  

LESSON:  If YD is the sheriff in your town, and you are a criminal, befriend her.  However, DO NOT SCREW HER OVER ON PIZZA or you will pay the ultimate price.


7:40 p.m.
YD:  "Mom, is it tomorrow yet?"
ME:  "You know it isn't tomorrow."
YD:  "Why won't you play Legos with me?"
ME:  Because I really hate those imaginary play games unless there is a hot guitarist with whom I am contemplating an inappropriate relationship. Because Mommy is working, precious."
YD:  "But not really."
ME:  "Yes, I am."  But not really.


YD continues to build her dictatorship.  The guys from Star Wars have landed some sort of battle cruiser into her village, and they are considering taking people away from the planet.  The criminals, now free, are going to run the community, and the pizza guy has been loaded up in the fighter to be taken to the Emperor.


8:00 p.m.
YD:  Throws her head on the dining room table next to me.  Sighs loudly.
ME:  "What."
YD:  "I'm so bored and I need someone to play with me."
ME:  "OD!  Come play with your sister!"


OD has to play the pizza parlor owner who has broken free of the Star Wars guys, but is now languishing in jail.  OD's only role in the game is to occasionally ask for an early release, which YD roundly denies.  YD arrests other people in the town, and OD is the voice for all of the prisoners, now victims of prison overcrowding, all begging YD for clemency, which she denies.  OD decides she is due for her hourly check of her Facebook account and leaves.


8:30 p.m.
YD:  "Mom, will you just play the last few minutes of the game with me?"
ME:  Staring at computer screen with 10 words on it.  Brain has stopped.  "No.  Tomorrow."
YD:  Sniff.  "But then I will be sad."
ME:  "I am sorry for your sadness.  Play by yourself or be done playing and clean up."
YD:  "CLEAN UP?  But it's Spring Break!"

You smell that?  That's the smell of Spring, and I love it.  You know what I like to do over Spring Break?


NOTHING.  


I am following YD's lead and going on Spring Break.  Anyone want to play Legos with me?  There is a hot guitarist playing in the Hard Rock Cafe I just built by the couch...and drinks are on the house!
 


5 comments:

aleigh said...

If only we weren't four states away. We've got a teacher in-service day; MT loves legos and can "imaginary play" with the best of them (complete with diaglogue and sound effects). Luckily for my clan, he requires no assistance. Enjoy your spring break. We'll miss you (*raises chuck-e-cheese plastic cup with weekend's leftover Touraine Sauvignon as a toast*)!

Wendy Ramer said...

Gotta say, Julie, I personally loved Lego as a kid. The problem with Lego today is that it's all kit-constructed, leaving nothing to the kids' imaginations, which is why they're no fun anymore dammit! (Not to mention they cost more than a pretty penny.)

Julie, The Wife said...

I agree, Wendy! I liked Legos better than dolls as a kid, and I loved building with Legos - that's fun! - but I don't like playing the "let's pretend the pizza parlor guy is robbing everyone in our pre-made Lego town". Stab me in the eye already!

DL Hammons said...

That was hilarious!! Thanks for that.

GrandeMocha said...

I love the nachos at Hard Rock Cafe. And I ALWAYS LOVE DRINKS ON not me! Count me in.

We have the motorhome made of Legos. I encourage my 7 yr old son to leave home & see the country & leave mommy alone. Maybe tour the Hard Rock Cafes?

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