Speaking of CH and anniversaries, let me tell you about how we came up with our anniversary date, because it is random and weird, just like the Happy Couple.
First, I will tell you how we became a couple - In a bar, I was drunk, he was drunk, I made fun of his hairline, he sneered at me. Lock and load, we're a couple.
We dated for four effing years because CH couldn't decide if he really wanted a long-term ride on the Crazy Train. He was away during the week traveling for work, and home on the weekends. It was Christmas season, so we went out and bought a live tree (a requirement for me, because I hate trees and want them all chopped down, denied water and humiliated with glass balls - kidding, I like the smell) and we didn't have a topper. CH said, "I think I have something" and left the room, and I started yelling, "If you're bringing out that damn Dallas Cowboys hat you can just march it right back in there" and he came out with a ring box and looked like he had perhaps just shat himself. He opened the box and looked at me like, "Don't hit me" and I said, in my best Caddyshack Judge Smails voice, "Wellllll???!" and he said "Will you marry me?" and then I dropped the attitude and cried and said yes. So it was all very poorly planned and had the element of fear and sarcasm, much like our married lives together. But we laugh! Oh, how we laugh.
I already knew what day I wanted as my wedding date - September 23, Michael Jordan's number, so he would never forget the date. But alas! One of my best friends got engaged at the same time, and she called to tell me she was engaged and let me know her date - September 23. Damn. CH's birthday is in October, and then Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I had to go backwards. I'm from Nebraska and we were getting married in Iowa City, so we had to plan the date around the Husker and Hawkeye football schedules. I picked August 12 because it was an away game day for both teams. I called the Iowa Memorial Union, where I wanted to have my reception, but guess what? The ENTIRE building was booked, reception and hotel rooms, because it was the weekend of the International Toothpick Holders' Convention. Seriously. You can't make this shit up.
I couldn't compete against the Toothpick Holder Collectors. I had to refer back to the football schedules and call the church to see if I could get August 26, which was the next away game for both teams. It was a win. Until I found out about a week before the wedding that it was the anniversary date for CH's parents, who had been divorced for about 14 years. Nothing says "GOOD LUCK NEWLYWEDS" like putting divorced parents together on their former anniversary, and forcing them to celebrate the day as YOUR anniversary every year. What are the odds, people!?!
However, his parents were both gracious and lovely, and the day was terrific and lots of fun, except for the flowers being wrong (I said No Baby's Breath! Or Wire Hangers!) and the photographer sucking (he brought his wife and four daughters to party at the reception and stopped taking pictures) and the guy getting arrested for public intox and me locking myself out of my car and I'm in a wedding dress with my new husband at 1 a.m. in the parking ramp trying to break into my car so we can go to the hotel and the bridesmaid who hooked up with TWO guys (just kidding honey, that was on the highlight reel) and the fraternity brother getting his picture taken with me with his elephant penis sticking out of his fly (actually also on the highlight reel, I still have the picture)....it really was a great day. And one that I will celebrate this year for the 16th time. I look forward to at least 10 more.
Isn't he cute? I'm keeping him.
But WTF with that scraggly-ass fern the
florist put around those perfectly fine flowers?
Thus concludes my "quantity over quality" rant for today. I will see you tomorrow!
And one more thing - Happy Birthday Mom! I love you!