Day 13 - Who the Hell Are You People?

Tonight, just for fun, I decided to look up the stats on my little tiny blog.  It's been nearly two years now, let's have a look-see.  I rarely track my stats, since mom and her two co-workers don't read much, but I was completely shocked by what I found.

FIRST - I'm over 300 posts, and nearly 100,000 page views, which is nutty like a fruitcake.

SECOND - Five out of the top ten referring sites to my blog are Russian sites.  Written in Russian.  Why are these non-English speaking websites in Russia referring readers to my blog?  Honestly, the first thing I think is that they are hacking into my computer to get to my bank account, in which case, let me save you some time, Czarina - there's nothing there.  Gwyneth Paltrow's site is www.goop.com, you'll have better luck over there.  My second thought is that they are using me as a drone site to hack into other people's websites, because let's be honest, how many Russians are really reading this for fun?  Am I just being used by the Russian mob?  Let me know if any of you have insight into this.  (Comment:  "No, we are for to like your funny humor site and not to for what you say?  Hacking?  Ignore this and continue with funny humor that links to banks.  Love, Svetlana)

THIRD - Here are the top searches people use that lead to my site.  No shit, people.

1. a day in the wife: 11
2. porn in kids books: 11
3. day in wife:  8
4. a day in the wife blog:  3
5. big stripe mosquitoes: 3
6. grandmas facial: 3
7. penis trauma: 3
8. daily schedule of a hooker prostitute: 1 

 Penis trauma I get, but Grandma Facial?  Where the hell did THAT come from?  Who ARE you people?  And why does anyone want to know the daily schedule of a hooker prostitute?  So they know when to schedule their breakfast meeting?  Honestly...I'm thinking it's the Russians.